Sarcastic Asper

Observe the Keywii in its natural habitat. Surrounded by a constant stream of pop-culture, political issues, and things to rant about. Be very weary of this creature however, though docile in nature, the Keywii has a known history of emotional instability. Further study is needed.


Just caught myself in my fly for the first time. And let me tell you, I haven’t felt this level of physical pain in years. Plus the tip of my dick was bleeding for a minute or two, which, since I have male anatomy, and I’m not supposed to bleed from between my legs, is rather disconcerting.

It probably doesn’t hurt as much as you think, the pain went away after 10 or so minutes. But to paint a picture for you, it’s roughly the same type of pain as nipping a sensitive portion of your finger off with a knife, except it hurts about 3 times more then that. So an intensely sharp pain for a few minutes, followed by several hours of dull throbbing in the cut area.

I’m perfectly fine now and nothing is missing, so everything worked out, lol. The only thing that changed is the level of caution I’m going to use when putting on pants from now on.

Just caught myself in my fly for the first time. And let me tell you, I haven’t felt this level of physical pain in years. Plus the tip of my dick was bleeding for a minute or two, which, since I have male anatomy, and I’m not supposed to bleed from between my legs, is rather disconcerting.

You know, of all the many things I hate about myself, one of the few things I LIKE about being me is my unpredictable nature.

I mean, yes I’m self-consistent and there’s a method my overall madness, plus it’s an easy win betting on where I’ll be at any given time. But I’m talking about the way I speak, or play games, my friends have the hardest time guessing what I’ll do at any given time, and I love every se one of it.

And I’m not even the boring Hollywood type of ‘unpredictable’ either where most of what I do is the opposite of what you think I’ll do, because that’s following a strict formula. Sometimes you have to do mundane and normal things, as well as things that people actually expect you to do, to TRULY be unpredictable.

Intelligence is knowing the past
Wisdom is on.owing the present
Cunning is knowing the future

It annoys me when I try to ask somebody questions and they get offended, like, all that teaches me is that it’s better to not ask questions and stay out of your personal affairs.

Which I’d be fine with if not for the fact that practically nobody on this planet does that. Seriously, is this what I’m supposed to learn? Keep my head down and don’t question the subtle nuances of the people around me when I notice a change to them?

Cause that’s kind of a shit lesson.


A dreamworld where dreams exist independently of humans and compete to try to draw humans into them. Humans with high creativity or obscure knowledge are valued especially highly for the extra complexity they can add to dreams.

The most “common” dreams, as we perceive them, are the most powerful and most influential ones. Dreams brawl over humans, which is why you can go in and out of various dreams over the course of a night.

Basically humans are livestock to dreams and have no idea about it.

Maybe you could set a story in this world where some lucid dreamers wander too far off course and realize what’s going on, setting them on the road to try to free people from their dreams (literally). Or where dreams are placing hypnotic suggestions in people’s minds to make them take actions in the waking world that will give more energy to their dreams. (Eat Nutella before bed. You want to eat Nutella before bed. Eat delicious, delicious Nutella. And throw on some hot sauce for that extra zing… what do you mean, that’s disgusting? YOU WANT TO EAT IT. EAT YOUR HOT SAUCE NOW.)

I just keep seeing stories where people wander through dreamworlds, screw with dreams, and ~master~ their dreams. Here’s a spin on the other way around.

For a creepypasta bonus, you could throw on that humans who die in their sleep become permanent possessions of the dreamworld…

That’s actually a pretty awesome concept. Wouldn’t mind exploring it at some point, either.

Literally any story taking place on earth and involving humans, except part way through the book there’s a new character introduced out of nowhere incredibly confused and wondering how they got there.

As the book continues to progress, anytime this character is interacted with they’re shown to not understand certain things and with each new scene they seem to understand more about the setting.

And this character is unnecessarily complex and inconsistent in their actions, yet still remaining self-consistent in the way they react to things, doing things sometimes that seem completely unneeded in the sense of the story and just giving off a different sort of feeling to the readers.

Eventually they disappear as mysteriously as they appeared earlier in the book, leaving a note saying thanks to the main character for being nice and not treating them like they were insane for claiming to be from another world.

And COMPLETELY downplay this entire side-arc when your book potentially gets published. Letting the fans speculate over whether or not this was ACTUALLY a real person transported into the world of your book and found a way home before the story concluded.

Each internet meme is real and is a person (or just personified for the sake of the comic) And the main character is just this dude that has a ‘normal’ life.

His name is like Stu or Dan or something normal, and he shares an apartment with the personified fuck yeah who’s name is like, Barry or something, and also Good Guy Greg. They have a pet badger and some shitty neighbours or something of the like.

It’s either called Outernet or Meme World and it’s a Slice of Life style gag-a-day comic.

Basically it’s a representation of the internet as if it were a real physical place, making it ironic since it’s in the form of a comic on the internet.

So in Ontario there’s a service availible to those that have students loans with OSAP (osap having a monopoly on the college loan giving in the province of Ontario).

This service offers a temporary solution to people like me that are drowning in thousands of dollars with of debt solely for one semester of studies, followed but dropping out and doing nothing but regret that decision ever since…

The solution is that they allow you to put off paying your debt for six months, the idea being that, by the time six months is up, you”ll have a job and a steady source of income and be able to actually pay your student loans back.

Now this probably sounds like a godsend, and to most it probably is, but you know what it is to me? A reminder of one of the biggest mistakes I”ve ever made.

But you want to hear the part that’s actually depressing? I’ve had to use this service four times now. Which means it’s been a solid TWO FUCKING YEARS that I’ve been out of college and unemployed. Over 700 days in which I’ve failed to make enough of a positive impression on ANY place of employment. And eight seasons I’ve been wasting away as a failure.

…Jesus…has it really been two years already? I wanted to be taking the first several steps towards BEING somebody by this point. But instead I’m awake at 7 in the morning, lying in bed depressed while I share that with 40 people I’ve never met before.

My life is a movie, and the day I’m living today is just an off-screen potion of a musical montage depicting my rise to greatness.

Hoe do I got about letting my mom and sister know that they can’t keeping telling my niece that she can’t do anything. They’re so negative that she doesn’t even know HOW to believe in herself. Every time we play a game together I try to pump her up and tell her that she’s capable of doing anything she wants to. But she flatly tells me “no I can’t”. Every. Time.

And it frustrates me because she’s seven years old and she doesn’t think she can count past a hundred. But I KNOW she can, because weeks ago I had her practising long equations with addition. And so Adria wanted to count her money after a game of Life, and she was doing amazingly until my sister finished up in the bathroom and impatiently started counting for her, wanting to go home.

And anytime I’ve ever mentioned that it’s negative atmospheres like this that breed low self-esteem, I just get told that I don’t know what I’m talking about because I’m not a parent and I’ve never had kids, and all that crap.










Guaranteed basic income to every citizen, whether or not they are employed to ensure their survival and that they live in a dignified, humane way, preventing poverty, illness, homelessness, reducing crime, encouraging higher education and learning vocations as well as helping society become more prosperous as a whole. 

Wow. Forget raising the minimum wage. This is much much better idea.

The minimum wage could actually drop if we had basic income.

But Americans would never go for it. Miserably slogging through 12 hour days and having businesses open 24/7 is too engrained in our culture.

"BUT WHERE WILL THE GOVERNMENT GET THE MONEY?" screamed Joe Schmoe, slamming a meaty fist onto the table and getting mouth-froth all over the front of his greying tank top. "You libt*rds all think money grows on TREES!! HAHA!"

"But where will people get the incentive to work?!" Mindy Bindy cried, flapping her hands in front of her face. She’d had a fear of the unemployed lollygagging about ever since she was a child and her mother told her to be afraid of the unemployed lollygagging about. "You think people should get paid for nothing? I work hard for my money!”

"But who will serve me?" grumbled Marty McMoneybags. "Who will make me feel important? Who will do my laundry and cook my food and stand in front of me wearing a plastic smile while I take out all my stress—because I do have a lot of stress, you know, being this rich is stressful—on them?” He paused and straightened out the piles of hundred dollar bills on the desk in front of him, then raised his two watery, outraged eyes up to the Heavens. “Lord, if there are no poor people, how will I know that I’m rich??”

I laughed. This is perfect! Well said!

The thing is, while I’m sure you could scrape up a few people who’d be willing to just float by on a guaranteed minimum income? For most people the choice to work would be a no-brainer. “Hmmm. I can get by on 33k a year, or I can take that part time job and make 48k… enough to move to a better apartment, maybe take the family on vacation. Sold.” Hell, most people would want to work simply because it gives one a sense of dignity and something to do with one’s time. (Speaking as someone who’s been unemployed, on extended sick leave, etc. in her time, the boredom and sense of isolation that comes with not having a job is almost as bad as the humiliation of having to depend on other people for one’s survival.)

And with this system, part-time jobs and “non-skilled” jobs would be much more readily available because nobody would need to work two or three jobs just to stay afloat!

Which would ALSO mean that employers and customers couldn’t shamelessly exploit employees the way they can today, because if losing a job weren’t necessarily a financial disaster, more people would be willing to walk out on jobs where they weren’t being treated with dignity.

And if this also applies to students (and it should) then student loans would become much less of a problem, and fewer people would flunk out of school because of having to juggle studies and work.

Far fewer people would be forced to stay with abusive partners, parents or roommates because they couldn’t afford to move out.

And the thing is, all those people who suddenly had money? They’d be spending it. They’d be getting all the stuff they can’t afford now - new clothes, books, toys, locally-produced food, car repairs - and with each purchase money would flow BACK to the government, because VAT, also income tax.

The unemployed and/or disabled wouldn’t need special support any more - which would also mean the government could fire however many admins who are currently engaged in humiliating - *cough* making sure those people aren’t getting money they don’t deserve. Same for medical benefits and pensions. And I’m no legal scholar, but I somehow imagine less financial desperation would lead to less petty crime, and hence less need for police and security everywhere?

TL;DR Doomie thinks this is a good idea, laughs at those who protest.

reblogging for more top commentary

They tried something like this out in Canada as a sort of social experiment, called Mincome. What they found was that, on the whole, people continued to work about as much as they did before. Only new mothers and teenagers worked substantially less hours. 

But wait, there’s more. Because parents were spending just a little more time at home and involved with their families, test scores increased. Because teens didn’t have to work to support their families, drop-out rates decreased. Crime rates, hospital visits, psychiatric hospitalizations and domestic abuse rates all dropped, as well. More adults pursued higher education. Those who continued to work reported more job flexibility and more opportunity to choose employment they preferred.

Basically, now you can go prove to your asshole family members that society won’t collapse without poor people for you to feel better than.

The picture is awesome, but read the commentary, that’s what I’m reblogging for.

Which part of Canada did they try this and when? Because I live in Onterio and I’ve never heard of Mincome. But this sounds like the greatest thing ever. If more people my age got payed to exist, the more lazy and assholeish people would quit their jobs and then I’D be able to get employed somewhere.

Like, I don’t even care about money as much as everyone else does, Job searching for years without getting any result makes you feel like a failure as a human being. And I’m a person that would work a shitty dead-end job with bare minimum wage and terrible working conditions with a fucking smile. But they never call me back when I hand in my resumes to those places because for whatever reason is the popular one that week.

I’ve never once worked a day in my life. AND I HATE IT

(via brillfic)

What I learned today is that the more tired I become, the more able I am to talk without break, since I care less about making sense.

That said it’s now 6:40am, I am now going to pass out in my bed.


ZE! I’m sorry, I did it again! Someone take Illustrator away from me!
Just leave the internet and YouTube. I need something to keep me sane :P


Ze looking super cute in his helmet 


Ze looking super cute in his helmet 

(via zeroyalviking)